Fast forward a couple of days and today I am thinking to myself how blessed I am to have a laid back job that I truly enjoy. And I do I really love helping people, teaching people, and seeing them catch on and make great changes in their lives. On the other hand it got me thinking and got me really down. I am great at what I do, I work great with people, I know how to talk to people, how to share information. If it has to do with health, wellness, fitness, or marketing I can do it and I can do it better than most. A big part of why I am successful is that I am a people person, a genuine, honest, old fashioned people person.
So why did I get so down? That word came back to me, "Just" I am just a trainer. I am just a writer. It clicked as soon as that word popped back into my head. I want to be more! Sneaking that little word in was not me belittling myself or what I do at all. It was me letting it be known that I am not satisfied. Right now I am just a writer but next year I plan to be more. Right now I am a trainer, I don't foresee myself moving up the ladder in my facility. Why, I am not really sure. I haven't given up hope but I've accepted it as fact and moved on. But I do know that I still want more. My mother-in-law says that if God has given the gift of a talent and you don't put it to good use then it makes Him sad! I believe it, it makes me sad too when I look back and I just flat out do not feel like I am reaching my potential.
Now, I'm not one to sit around and be sad about something for too long, I want to make a change! There was a time when I would decide that I needed to just find a new job or another place to volunteer. I have thankfully learned that when I am spread out all over the place that I am not very efficient in anything and I become quite exhausted! Instead I can now look at what I have and how can I change myself any my thinking to make what I have into what I need. (Thank you yoga! Instead of entering panic and run mode, I was able to breathe and think rationally!) So now it's Friday and I'm at work with a positive outlook. I've brainstormed a few things that I can do at the gym to be able to reach out to people, talked with one supervisor about teaching a few more classes and another about building up some small groups (I love working with groups!) and even another about some speaking opportunities. All three ways for me to be able to share my knowledge with others! But the best part of the morning was speaking with a new member - I spent about an hour with a lady answering questions, sharing my personal theories on how we should work with our bodies, and being present with her needs. As we ended our conversation she told me that I had "been a blessing to her this morning." I almost wanted to cry again, that is just what I was needing to hear! I do make a difference every day!
I am on the way, I still have some ground to cover so I have committed to myself not to be satisfied with the baseline. I want to be able to put my big ol' heart into whatever it is that I may be doing, to be fully present with all of my efforts not just a few. I will not let fear hold me back from building my business and I will accomplish what I set my mind to because anything that I do is worth my full attention, and when I give my all I have a feeling that little word... just will no longer be slipping out of my mouth. As I change myself I can change the world!
